Starry Night

You know what?

I have no idea what will become of this post. What purpose I'm achieving through my words as of this moment... but here I am, writing as a means of coping. But how can I cope, if I cannot even begin to understand what I am feeling?

I spent the weekend on Lake Eerie, nestled between someone I consider dear, and something I love. We sat, silent, listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks beneath us. Our eyes were directed towards the horizon, noting the difference between the royal blue behind the city lights of Cleveland, and the fading peach hue of the sun's light. And it's near impossible to separate where the water ends, and the sky begins.

It hit me then... everything changes. Sure, we change over the course of an academic year. We change friends, we change perspectives, we change sleeping habits, we change. But in the manner of a day, we change too. The next day, I won't be with a friend I've seen everyday since January, I will be back in Dublin, sitting on a computer, facebooking. I will be up late, but I won't have company, I won't have the usual people I'm used to seeing on a daily basis.

As a result of one year, I can honestly say that I have evolved.

So the question now is... who accepts you for who you are? Who is still there beside you despite the mistakes, despite the changes, because deep down, they understand who you are, and that you are human. Who loves you for your imperfections?

.

Now that I think of it, that's what I miss. Aside from ordering wings at 3 in the morning, or walking over the river at 5am, or naming all 151 pokemon for two consecutive days, or just having someone listening to your complaints until 7 in the morning...

I guess that's why I barely write anymore. I write to release, but in most cases, I want you in front of me, to talk with me, to look me in the eyes and tell me it's alright, to rest my heavy head on.

I am so lucky to have not one, but two people listening to my thoughts. No judgements, no tone, just ears and on occasion, a word of consolation.

Expect me to write more, expect me to blog at 4 in the morning, expect me to be here more often as I anticipate my morning hours to be alone, without the usual company.

While I sat on the lake, it occurred to me exactly how blessed I was. How amazing is it to have someone beside you, accepting of everything about you, loving of every flaw sitting in silence, because that's all you really need in the end, just the company.

Yours,

Katrina