one person you are meant to love, one person who has been placed on this world just for you,
one person perfectly matching everything about you.
This stemmed mostly from repeated viewings of Disney classics. These include, but are not limited to: Aladdin, Snow White, Thumbelina, The Swan Princess, The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. Beliefs that lead to thoughts of ultimate happiness, neverending bliss, fantastical memories and happy endings. Princes who were perfect in every way, who did everything for you and who made your life happy no matter the cost they had to pay. Evil monsters who needed to be slayed by your one and only. Dragons and dwarves, elves and fairies, Narnia and Hogwarts.
I hate to admit it. I really do.
It's like... learning that that present waiting for you on Christmas morning was not Santa Claus,
but bought for you by who else? Your parents.
Sorry if I ruined Christmas for you. You'll get over it. I did.
Or even better,
coming to the consensus on your 20th birthday, and your Hogwarts letter is not 9 years delayed, but is never going to arrive by way of Owl delivered-post.
I know, I'm still saddened.
(Now that I think about it, my day will most probably be spent watching classic Disney movies. That, or Harry Potter for the ump-teenth time this month.)
Anyways,
Love.
I think these films reiterate that this so called "love" exists to fruitfully, so perfectly and so divine that it was the one thing we were meant to live for. That once we found it, we could live happy without pain, without sacrifice and without sorrow.
Most importantly, how do you know it you've met... "the one?"
It's taken me years to discover the truth.
This belief, though highly romantic, is incredibly bleak and pessimistic.
What happens if we never find the one?
Most of my revelation came from the evaluation of the other important people in my life.
Not to say in any means that I am polygamous or committed to multiple men, I'm simply referring to my few friends whom I spend hours talking to one the phone about Glee or Harry Potter. I'm referring to my sister, who listened to all my whining about men and still gives me advice after all these years. I'm referring to my classmate whom I come crying to about all the medical possibilities or psychological help that I may need. Even my mother, who annoyingly gets upset if I return at 9pm from a day with my boyfriend.
How about them? Do we not love them?
People say there's different kinds of love. It may be true? But I implore you to think about this.. Are all loves equal? I'm pretty sure if I lost my best friend, it would still hurt as much as my boyfriend breaking up with me. I really think it's all one thing.
And I really think that there's no single person meant for us, there are multiple people that we can love. In every place, we love someone.
So what about love?
I used to think love was just happiness.
Then I used to think love was about kissing.
Then sex?
Then I used to think love was about being with someone all the time.
About holding hands. About getting nervous before dates.
I'm pretty sure I've found it, and while it might include these things, there's so much more.
It's about giving up the last bite of your favorite dessert because they want it too. It's about loving all the things that we find annoying about them. It's about sacrificing 20 swipes for them just because you love eating pancakes with them. It's about driving 2o extra minutes in a dying car everyday just to spend 6 hours of the day with them. It's about staying with them while they're abroad, getting an education or fighting for our nation, it's about waking up next to them every morning. It's about fighting and crying, but then telling them I love you despite all the harsh exchanges. It's about promise.
A promise is all it really is.
With your family, a promise to provide and support in all affairs, financial and personal.
With your friend, a promise to listen and provide comfort.
With your significant, a promise to embrace and live forever right next to you.
With yourself, a promise to be true to everything you stand for.
We totally had this discussion, like, a year and a half ago of me arguing there are no fantasy soul mates out there for people.
ReplyDeleteYou ask what happens if we never find "the one", well, there is no "the one" in the first place. "The one" is who you make it out to be. There is no guy who is standing around just waiting to instantly fall madly in love with you, that takes time and work to reach that point with someone. And there are lots of guys in this world who could make you incredibly happy and form a mutual, unconditional, loving bond with you. It's just a matter of finding one of them. To think that there's only one person out there for you is all good, but the mathematical possibilities of stumbling into him in your life near impossible - unless of course you want to throw in some Disney magic which you seem to have written off. If you meant "the one" in the sense of whoever you hopefully inevitably settle down with, and not a soul mate type figure, then yes, I agree with you, that'd suck to never feel that strong of love and affection for someone.
You also ask if there are different types of love. I actually think your promises at the end demonstrate pretty well what the various kinds of love can be. Your love for your significant other will be different than your love for a best friend; there are different responsibilities with each one.
Also, hi, how are you? :P